“Plyushkin” syndrome in a young man - what is it that is calming? He drags everything into the bins: mobile phones that are already 20 years old (almost the same age as him), keyboards without buttons, empty boxes from some things, things that he has outgrown and will never wear.


Everything is needed, everything will come in handy, and at first it must lie in the basement for about 10 years, then with difficulty, either it will be thrown out on its own, or I will try to help it by periodically quietly freeing up space. But there is clearly no progress.


I once had to deal with three people, but they were over 80 - exactly the same thing!!! Half-decayed grandchildren took out clothes, newspapers and magazines from the age of 50-55. But it’s clear here...





Answer



This kind of behavior is really not typical for young people. Especially considering that today there are a myriad of fashionable innovations in various fields. And young people generally strive with all their might to keep up with the times and acquire the latest innovations. Against this background, the young man’s habit of accumulating and storing old, unusable things looks strange, to say the least. And yet he, I believe, is mentally healthy. And this feature of it is explained by other reasons.


The human soul absorbs and remembers everything that happens, and what it experiences undoubtedly influences the way of thinking and behavior. At a young age, the life attitudes of parents have a very strong influence on a person. Around the age of 15-20, an emotional “structure” is formed. But I don’t have any life experience yet. And the young man (or girl) is “led” first in one direction, then in the other.


Let's consider both directions here: the influence of the family and the peculiarities of the emotional perception of reality.


Perhaps the person grew up in a family where parents are overly concerned about material values. I constantly heard conversations about money, salaries, prices, discounts, about where and what you can save on. And I got used to the idea that the main thing in life is money, its accumulation and everything that can be bought for it.


Of course, the problems of material support cannot be neglected. But living in such a way that everything revolves only around this is wrong.


Even if the child does not actively and/or passively participate in such conversations, he sees the parents’ reaction to different situations, captures the home atmosphere and the parent’s inner mood. The child sees that mom and dad worry about every broken plate, torn shirt, or small unexpected expense. And it is imprinted in his mind that any, even the cheapest and most insignificant thing is incredibly important.


You can sometimes understand from the behavior of parents that they are trying to teach their children order, to instill thrift in them, and to instill practicality in them. But as a result, the child becomes an object of attack and perceives only manifestations of nervousness.


In many cases, the cost of an item can, of course, be a serious consideration. However, here we are considering typical everyday situations in which, as a rule, exorbitant amounts do not appear


In this answer, I also omit the question that anger and indignation, regardless of the reasons and behavior of the “object”, are destructive both for the source and for the “consumer” of these and other negative emotions.


The atmosphere in the family forms in the child’s and youth’s thinking a certain system of values, built, of course, on what he hears and sees, and forms in his mind the attitude that life is devoted mainly to money. This worldview, as a rule, manifests itself in the continuous pursuit of earnings, new material acquisitions, etc. But perhaps also in reluctance and even fear of parting with old unnecessary things. After all, this can also be a form of accumulation of “capital”.


Now let's look at the second direction we have identified, which is more connected with the inner world of a person. Not forgetting that at a young age, the influence of the family is still very significant.


The young man you write about is now going through a special period. Childhood is already over, and real adult life has not yet begun. At this stage, it is common to think about the future, make plans (which are still often, as in childhood, mixed with fantasies), and be interested in emerging opportunities and the experiences of older acquaintances. He may hear from older comrades who have already embarked on a certain path in life that earning money is not easy, about problems with money, debts, etc.


This is superimposed on the atmosphere in which he lives now and/or childhood memories. Being surrounded by people for whom the material side of life comes first, he will also involuntarily pay attention to this. Perhaps, even in childhood, it was “embedded” in his memory how his father or mother could not find a job for a long time and were very worried about this. He didn’t understand their concern at the time, but it was imprinted in his mind that this happens, and it’s bad.


And so he himself began to wonder what would happen to him, how he would provide for himself and the family he would create in the future, whether he would be able to find a decent job, and what would happen if he did not manage to build his life the way he would like. Then the whole complex of the above-described feelings and thoughts, low self-esteem and fear of the future can lead to the development in him of what you called “Plyushkin syndrome.”


The strategy for solving this problem in general terms should be based on the need to bring him out of the state where all thoughts and plans are focused on materiality, and to open up other life prospects for him.


Materiality is always “squeezed out” only by spirituality. If you invest yourself more in spiritual development, you worry about materialism much less. Many people believe that Heavenly spirituality involves neglecting “worldly” concerns. This is a very common mistake. In fact, the desire for spirituality gives a person the opportunity to learn how to properly distribute their own resources.


If we are talking about Jews, they should take care not only of the immediate needs of the family, but also set aside funds for philanthropic donations, spend money on purchasing food for Shabbat and holiday meals, etc. The life of a Jew is filled not only with work. He needs to set aside time for both Torah study and daily prayers in the synagogue.


Efforts should be made to create an appropriate atmosphere in the house, bringing spirituality into it.


If the young man in question is a Jew, he needs to begin gradually, step by step, to fulfill the laws of the Torah. In any case, at first, try to help him develop a craving for spirituality. Have conversations with him on lofty topics, do something with him. Try to awaken in him an interest in independent spiritual growth, a desire to set high life goals for himself. Identify his strengths and help him strengthen them.


At one of the stages of spiritual growth, by the way, a person understands that materiality is only a tool for carrying out spiritual work. Then the pettiness of “Plyushkin”, as a rule, disappears, “retreating” before the breadth of the soul, realizing the Will of the Creator.


Lyricist Chaim Ackerman